i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
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