just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
