shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
