I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
