Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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