and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
