If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
