you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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