Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
