Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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