Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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