i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize