Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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