She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
What a dumb baby whore.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
is that a dick in a sweater?
Randomize
