We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
