You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
