He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.