If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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