I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
