Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
