my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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