grandma shit on top of the toilet
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
