can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
