doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
