matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Randomize
