She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
