I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
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Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
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Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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