where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
