theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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