Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
