gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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