I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
