i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
