Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
