honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
