You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
