i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
