HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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