my phone needs a breathalizer
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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