didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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