I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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