dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
