He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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