I want to have your abortion
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
