Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
