omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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