I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize