When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
