Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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