The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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