I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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