imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life