I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️