You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.