You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.