I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Terrible idea I love it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.