no one should ever give us hovercrafts
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
