i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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