Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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