She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
