you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
