I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
