It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
