She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
