very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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