so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
