i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
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I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Enjoy the penises
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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