If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I want her autograph on my taint
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
